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The Need to Have Some Control 

The third need the Vishers discovered is innate to all of us is the (3) need to have a sense of control in our lives. This can sound like an oxymoron when it comes to stepfamily living, especially given all the outside factors At times it can seem like everyone else has more control than you do over what takes place in your home.

A great way to combat this is for you and your partner to sit down and establish an agreed upon plan. Follow these tips to get the conversation started:

1. Avoid harsh start-ups by using “I” statements. For example, "I feel ________ when _________. I recommend __________. What are your thoughts?"

2. Take it slowly and start small. Looking at a typical day, think about see where you and your partner may be butting heads due to lack of planning or the unexpected popping up. Use these are starting points to brainstorm solutions.

3. If your plan doesn’t go according “to plan,” that’s okay. Things that are worth having require effort … even if it takes longer than expected. 

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April 7, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterhfhgfd

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