Is your mom or dad remarrying? Do you feel like you're losing your parent to his or her new partner? Do you not like your stepdad or stepmom?

Guess What… You don’t have to like your new stepparent! Just as each of us is brought up to treat others as we would like to be treated, it is everyone’s duty in a stepfamily to treat each other with respect. This isn’t always easy, especially if you feel you are not being listened to or that everyone is blaming you.

Stepfamilies are just like a sports team, everyone has an important role to play. Sometimes what position you hold is confusing to figure out. Again, if you think no one cares about what you think, this may feel next to impossible. Christina Roach wants to hear your side and help you be heard in your family. Ask your parent to contact me and together we can work to help the adults in your life understand you and what you're experiencing in your stepfamily.

Common Complaints of Stepchildren  (Dr. Jeannette Lofas, The Stepfamily Foundation)

1. I want my old family back.
2. Nobody has enough time for me.
3. I don’t know what they want from me.
4. I feel sad whenever my Mom or Dad is sad and I feel they are sad too much.
5. I’m angry and I don’t know why.
6. Dad is busy with his new family.
7. It’s boring over at my Dad’s house.
8. It’s wonderful at my Dad’s house. I wish I could live with Dad.
9. I miss my Dad.
10. Dad and I have a great time, except for ‘her’.
11. He gives more to her and her kids than he gives to us.
12. He never thought about s when he moved.
13. Dad left Mom, but he really left me.
14. There must be something wrong with me.
15. Mom is wonderful, but her boyfriend is awful.
16. She’s always paying attention to him and not me.
17. She lets him tell us what to do.
18. They go away together and leave us alone.
19. She has always done things for me, and now he says she spoils me.
20. She lets him say awful things about me.
21. I don’t want to say hello to him.
22. I wish he weren’t here.
23. We were doing fine without him. Why do we need him now?
24. It’s not fair…
25. I don’t know where I belong.
26. They will never know how hard it is to visit Mom/Dad.
27. They get upset when I tell them about the good time I had when I visit.
28. Mom doesn’t have enough money.
29. Dad is always complaining about how much money he gives Mom.  I feel like it is all my fault. 

Reference

Lofas, J. (2004). Stepparenting; everything you need to know to make it work. New York, NY: Kensington Publishing Corp. (Cited from page 145-146 of referenced text).

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